A DC airport ticket agent offers some examples
of 'why' our country is in trouble!
1. I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman (Carol Shea-Porter) ask
for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being
near the window. (On an
airplane!)
2. I got a call from a Kansas Congressman's (Moore) staffer
(Howard Bauleke), who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain
the length of the flight and the passport information, and then he
interrupted me with, ''I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but
Capetown is in Massachusetts .'' Without trying to make him look
stupid, I calmly explained, ''Cape Cod is in Massachusetts ,
Capetown is in Africa '' his response -- click.
3. A senior Vermont Congressman (Bernie Sanders) called, furious
about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the
vacation in Orlando. He said he was
expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that's not
possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied,
'don't lie to me, I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin
state!'' (OMG)
4. I got a call from a lawmaker's wife (Landra Reid) who asked,
''Is it possible to see England from Canada ?'' I said, ''No.'' She
said, ''But they look so close on the map.''
(OMG, again!)
5. An aide for a cabinet member (Janet Napolitano) once called
and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas . I pulled up the
reservation and noticed he had only a
1-hour layover in Dallas . When I asked him why he wanted to rent
a car, he said, ''I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need
a car to drive between gates to save time.'' (Aghhhh)
6. An Illinois Congresswoman (Jan Schakowsky) called last week.
She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit
left at 8:30 a.m., and got to Chicago at 8:33 a.m. I explained that
Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois , but she couldn't understand
the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane went fast,
and she bought that.
7. A New York lawmaker, (Jerrold Nadler) called and asked, ''Do
airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know
whose luggage belongs to whom?'' I said, 'No, why do you ask?' He
replied, ''Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag
on my luggage that said (FAT), and I'm overweight. I think that's
very rude!'' After putting him on hold for a minute, while I looked
into it. (I was dying laughing). I came back and explained the city
code for Fresno , Ca. is (FAT - Fresno Air Terminal, and the
airline was just putting a destination tag on his luggage..
8. A Senator John Kerry aide (Lindsay Ross) called to inquire
about a trip package to Hawaii . After going over all the cost info,
she asked, ''Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take
the train to Hawaii?''
9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman, Bobby
Bright (D) from Ala who asked, ''How do I know which plane to get
on?'' I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, ''I
was told my flight number is 823, but none of these planes have
numbers on them.''
10. Senator Dianne Feinstein (D) called and said, ''I need to fly
to Pepsi-Cola , Florida. Do I have to get on one of those little
computer planes?'' I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola , FL on a
commuter plane. She said, ''Yeah, whatever, smarty!''
11. Mary Landrieu (D) La. Senator called and had a question about
the documents she needed in order to fly to China . After a lengthy
discussion about passports, I reminded her that she needed a visa.
'Oh, no I don't. I've been to China many times and never had to have
one of those.'' I double checked and sure enough, her stay required
a visa. When I told her this she said, ''Look, I've been to China
four times and every time they have accepted my American Express!''
12. A New Jersey Congressman (John Adler) called to make
reservations, ''I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York . " I
was at a loss for words. Finally, I said, ''Are you sure that's the
name of the town?'' 'Yes, what flights do you have?'' replied the
man. After some searching, I came back with, ''I'm sorry, sir, I've
looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a rhino
anywhere." ''The man retorted, ''Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows
where it is. Check your map!'' So I scoured a map of the state of
New York and finally offered, ''You don't mean Buffalo , do you?''
The reply? ''Whatever! I knew it was a big animal.'' Now you know
why the Government is in the shape that it's in! Could anyone be
this DUMB?
I don't write it, I just offer it for your consideration.
Like manure, you just gotta spread it around.
