...Or How the Lie of Global Warming Became the Most Powerful
Political Force in Human History.
Not long ago a very talented salesman died and found himself
approaching the Pearly Gates. As he drew closer he noticed there was
a very long line of people waiting to enter and it wasn’t moving.
Impatient by nature, the salesman pushed his way to the front of
the line and confronted a very harried St. Peter. “What’s the hold
up,” asked the salesman. “There’s a strike at the pedestal factory
and no one may enter Heaven without one,” explained St. Peter. “So,
you’ll just have to wait until the strike is settled and they start
manufacturing more pedestals.”
That didn’t satisfy the salesman. Always looking to make a deal,
he said to St. Peter, “listen, I’m a pretty fair salesman. Let me
make you this deal. Let me come into Heaven for just one hour. If I
don’t have my own pedestal by that time, I’ll come out and stand in
line like everyone else.” St. Peter, happy to get just one person to
stop yelling at him, agreed.
So, through the Pearly Gates went the salesman. He saw rows and
rows of serene folks standing on their pedestals, happy and content.
The salesman walked among the rows until finally he stopped and
looked up at one occupant. “Pssst, hey you,” he said. The pedestal
occupant looked down and said, “What?” Whispered the salesman,
“Don’t tell anyone, but they’ve discovered gold in Hell. No one else
knows and it can be yours for the taking.” “Really,” said the
occupant. “Sure, go get it,” said the salesman. With that, the
occupant jumped off his pedestal and ran down the street. “Well,
that was easy,” said the salesman, as he climbed up on the abandoned
pedestal.
And there he stood, content and serene, until he began to hear a
commotion. Shouting grew louder. The startled salesman looked
around, noticing people jumping off their pedestals and running down
the streets of Heaven. As they passed the salesman they shouted,
“They’ve discovered gold in Hell…they’ve discovered gold in hell!”
The shouts grew louder. The excitement grew as more and more took to
the streets, heading toward the Pearly Gates.
Finally, several people tugged at the Salesman’s leg and shouted,
“come on… they’ve discovered gold in Hell.” “Really,” said the
salesman. “Yes, come on,” they shouted. And the salesman jumped off
his pedestal and started running down the street with the rest of
them.
As he ran through the Pearly Gates, St. Peter grabbed his arm and
said, “Where are you going?” The now near-crazed salesman shouted,
“They’ve discovered gold in Hell!”
“WAIT A MINUTE,” said St. Peter, “YOU STARTED THAT RUMOR.” “I
KNOW I DID,” said the salesman, “BUT... ALL THESE PEOPLE CAN'T BE
WRONG!”
And that’s the way the lie of global warming became the most
powerful political force in human history.
