Now that Vancouver
has won the chance to host the 2010 Winter Olympics,
these are some Questions people from all over the
world are asking.
Believe it or not these Questions about Canada were
posted on an International Tourism Website.
Obviously the answers are a joke;
but the Questions
were really asked!
Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how
do the plants grow? (England)
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just
sit around and watch them die.
Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street?
(USA)
A: Depends on how much you've been drinking.
Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto-can I
follow the railroad
tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only four thousand miles, take lots of
water.
Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada?
(Sweden)
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.
Q: It is imperative that I find the names and
addresses of places to
contact for a stuffed Beaver. (Italy)
A: Let's not touch this one.
Q: Are there any ATM's (cash machines) in Canada?
Can you send me a list of them in Toronto,
Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (England)
A: What, did your last slave die?
Q: Can you give me some information about hippo
racing in Canada? (USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent
south of Europe.
Ca-na-da is that big country to
your North...oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is
every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.
Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees Contact us
when you get here and we'll send the rest of the
directions.
Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada?(England)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule?
(USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering
Ger-man-y, which is..
oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays
every Tuesday night in
Vancouver and in Calgary, straight after the hippo
races. Come naked.
Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)
A: No, WE don't stink.
Q: I have developed a new product that is the
fountain of youth.
Can you sell it in Canada? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia
where the female
population is smaller than the male population?
(Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.
Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA)
A: Only at Thanksgiving.
Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk
available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan
hunter/gathers. Milk is
illegal.
Q: I have a question about a famous animal in
Canada, but I forget its
name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA )
A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very
violent, eating the brains
of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them
off by spraying yourself with human urine before you
go out walking.
Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go?
(USA)
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.
Please send this on to any Canadian (or other person) who
you think will enjoy it as much as I did.